student: can i borrow a pencil
teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious
gueef:

me walking into church

gueef:

me walking into church

(Source: maudit, via gingahhh)

b-adfish:

sandandglass:

Obama’s one-liners during his speech at the White House Correspondents Dinner. 

The one where he had a go at Taylor Swift. Omg - so funny.

(via shinypapercrowns)

everydayoccurences:

oathovoblivion:

verticalcrash:

carlwinslowjrjr:

danishprinciple:

Portable Masturbatoriums © Nicolaus Chaffin

Finally, the privacy I need when I’m traveling by plane, all in a discreet, convenient “masturbatorium.”The future is now.  

can we talk about this dude’s shirt tho

Can we talk about the term masturbatorium!?

The term is from the book Running with Scissors.

everydayoccurences:

oathovoblivion:

verticalcrash:

carlwinslowjrjr:

danishprinciple:

Portable Masturbatoriums © Nicolaus Chaffin

Finally, the privacy I need when I’m traveling by plane, all in a discreet, convenient “masturbatorium.”

The future is now.  

can we talk about this dude’s shirt tho

Can we talk about the term masturbatorium!?

The term is from the book Running with Scissors.

(via tellmebabyareyouwet)

attackofthepartycannon:

saltwaterstemp:

intellectual-stupidity:

f-e-a-t-h-e-r-b-r-a-i-n:

herpderpicho:

owl-recluse:

konec0:

sataaaaaan:

shapeshiftandtrick:

avocadokitten:

Slicing a Bead of Mercury in Half



WAT

mercury is the best

omfg no NO YOU CANT EXIST?>?!?!???

You know what this reminds me of?
The pee frisbee.
The best prank in the world [after poop butter, of course], and it doesn’t even require going into someone’s house. As long as there’s a gap under their door, you can get them.
You take a regular frisbee, like one you’d get at the dollar store, and you pee in it. Put it upside-down, pee in it, and put that in the freezer for a few hours. You’ll have disc of frozen piss.
Carefully remove it from the frisbee, take it to your neighbour’s house [or friend’s, or stranger’s, I don’t care, as long as you keep that piss disc cold, man], and slide it under their door.
It works best if nobody is home and won’t be home for a few hours. That pee will thaw right on their floor, and they’ll come home to a puddle of piss in their house with no sign of anybody getting in.
Who the fuck peed on my floor?
That will haunt them for years.

reblogging for the pee frisbee

pee frisbee omg

PISS FRISBE

I AM SO FUCKING DONE

attackofthepartycannon:

saltwaterstemp:

intellectual-stupidity:

f-e-a-t-h-e-r-b-r-a-i-n:

herpderpicho:

owl-recluse:

konec0:

sataaaaaan:

shapeshiftandtrick:

avocadokitten:

Slicing a Bead of Mercury in Half

image

WAT

mercury is the best

omfg no NO YOU CANT EXIST?>?!?!???

You know what this reminds me of?

The pee frisbee.

The best prank in the world [after poop butter, of course], and it doesn’t even require going into someone’s house. As long as there’s a gap under their door, you can get them.

You take a regular frisbee, like one you’d get at the dollar store, and you pee in it. Put it upside-down, pee in it, and put that in the freezer for a few hours. You’ll have disc of frozen piss.

Carefully remove it from the frisbee, take it to your neighbour’s house [or friend’s, or stranger’s, I don’t care, as long as you keep that piss disc cold, man], and slide it under their door.

It works best if nobody is home and won’t be home for a few hours. That pee will thaw right on their floor, and they’ll come home to a puddle of piss in their house with no sign of anybody getting in.

Who the fuck peed on my floor?


That will haunt them for years.

reblogging for the pee frisbee

pee frisbee omg

PISS FRISBE

I AM SO FUCKING DONE

(via hot-as-balls)

10knotes:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

(Source: comedycentral)

daxxglax:

My school’s confessions page, ladies and germs!

(Source: fuckyeahidiotonfacebook, via pizzaanddick)

10knotes:


This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

10knotes:

This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.

(Source: hellowelcometo)

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